When it comes to sex, 2008 might not have been your year. One of the side-effects of a recession can be a lack of libido, and so maybe one of your New Year’s resolutions is to reclaim your sex life.
“In general, people are having less sex,” said Dr. Ian Kerner, a New York City-based sex therapist and author of “Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parent’s Guide to Getting It On Again.”
“Fifty million people are stuck in a sex rut,” Kerner added. “The economy inhibits a person’s libido because they feel stressed and depressed.”
So if you want to climb your way out of that sex rut, Kerner offers nine easy tips to reclaiming your sex life:
1. Just Do It!
“It might sound silly, but just have more sex,” Kerner said. “Your mind has become habituated to not having sex, so it’s hard to break out of it. You have to reconnect. Sex is its own aphrodisiac. When couples have a healthy sex life, they are in a groove, whether it’s once a week, or twice a week.”
2. Connect
Do something non-physical — together. “You can’t just turn sex on when it’s time to go to bed,” Kerner said. “You need to build that sense of connection.”
Try a date night, and remember it doesn’t have to be fancy.
3. Be Positive
In times of economic crisis, many couples may argue over finances. It’s important not to act negatively outside of the bedroom if you want to have a positive relationship inside it.
“Studies show that for couples to boost their sex life, they have to be positive,” Kerner said. “It’s easy to go home and talk about mortgages and bills, but if it leads to a negative cycle of communication, figure out a positive form of communication.”
Some tips include: watching the tone of your voice, avoiding precarious subject matters and being cautious with the type of language you use. Pick your battles.
4. Unplug
“We’re really becoming inundated with technology,” Kerner said. “Couples are spending more time on Facebook and blogs. The next thing you know it’s 11:30 p.m. and it’s too late for sex. There’s no urgent need to check your BlackBerry — your relationship has to be a priority.”
In other words, do you really care what your “friend” from second grade is doing on Facebook? Pay more attention to your lover and the benefits are greater.
5. Be Healthy
Believe it or not, your health factors into your sex drive, so maintaining a healthy lifestyle is imperative.
“It’s easy to binge at the end of December with the holiday eating and drinking,” Kerner said. “Get healthy and remain healthy. It will increase your sex drive, and exercise will boost your self-esteem, which is crucial to enjoying sex.”
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