Make an occasional quick dash to the outer lips of the vagina, or to the penis, and away again, and then gradually start to linger longer. The man is usually ready for this sort of stimulation some time before the woman is ready for him to move on to her genital area. An erect penis can take quite firm handling. The man can explain what caresses feel best.
The part of women’s anatomy which brings most of them the most pleasure is the clitoris, a little bud tucked away in front of the vagina. It is very, very sensitive. Some women find direct stimulation of it soon makes them feel sore. You must experiment. The flat of your hand massaging the whole genital area may be what feels best.
Many couples love oral sex best. Some religions regard it as taboo but most people these days would agree that there is nothing morally wrong with a loving couple giving each other pleasure this way.
Obviously normal rules about hygiene must be followed and oral sex is not safe sex if one of you has any sort of sexually transmitted infection, or active herpes (of the mouth or genitals), or is HIV positive.
This build-up may take half an hour or so before the woman, especially, feels ready to think of intercourse. A woman is ready when her vagina is moist and relaxed, open in expectation, and – most important of all – she knows that is what she wants.
A man is ready for intercourse when his penis is sufficiently erect – though this doesn’t mean that he has got to be as hard as a rod of iron – and he feels ready.
The position or positions you choose for intercourse are up to you – there are no rights or wrongs.
Some couples have a wonderful sex life never varying from the traditional “missionary”. But it really can help love-making stay exciting and pleasurable to remember that it doesn’t always – or ever – have to end in intercourse.
Couples can give each other tremendous satisfaction with other caresses of fingers or tongues, if they want to. Such variety can stop sex seeming predictable, and stop either of you feeling pressured that every time you start showing physical affection it must end with intercourse.
Only a minority of women reach orgasm during intercourse – most of those who climax do so as a result of other stimulation. For them intercourse should naturally be just a part of sexplay, not the be-all and end-all.
Some women and a few men never climax at all, but still enjoy making love. It certainly doesn’t matter whether you both climax at the same time. All that matters is that each partner enjoys the shared physical experience without feeling pressured to fit in with some fixed notion of successful sex.
Pages: 1 2
You may also want to read...
