Making such a change will usually involve shifts in a couple’s whole relationship – and is best attempted with the help of a counsellor such as through Relate (see your local phone book).
Other reasons for feeling tempted by three-in-a-bed can be that you have a sexual problem which needs sorting out – difficulty in reaching orgasm or maintaining an erection, for example. If so, please let me know and I can send you details of self-help and expert sex therapy.
It could be there is some tension in your relationship which needs looking at. As I’ve said, our sex lives and our feelings are closely linked. Difficulties in our sexual relationship are very often symptoms of more general problems.
A woman who is always tired out because she shoulders most of the chores at home as well as having a paid job, for example, will lose interest in sex. A man who is overwhelmed with worries about holding on to his job may well find his sex drive crashes.
You may be able to sort these out by talking between you – perhaps taking some time out, such as a weekend away from the home and kids. If you get stuck, Relate counsellors are trained to help you work through just such difficult issues.
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